


Thanks, Mom

by Kuroitora_chan



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bulges and Nooks, Comfort, I swear, Porn With Plot, Smut, Swearing, The fic is mostly happy, this fic is a happy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-05-04 10:20:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14590911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuroitora_chan/pseuds/Kuroitora_chan
Summary: Right after the events that transpired in Paradox Space, our heros deal with some bittersweet aftertaste left in their lifes by their adventure.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> List of abbreviations:  
> DV - Dave JH - John JD - Jade RX - Roxy KK - Karkat KN - Kanaya  
> DK - Dirk JN - Jane JK - Jake RS - Rose TZ - Terezi

**TROLL KINGDOM:**

 

Night had fallen down, it was about 10 pm in a wintery season. The street lights made everything a little foggier. Dave and Karkat had met in front of the apartment the blond was sharing with Jade. He didnt really want to stay inside for the night, so he called his friend to go out with him, do something fun.

KK – Is she asleep?

DV – If she was anymore asleep, she would bend space until a wormhole reached a pantheon of human gods inside the imagination of a little child. That same child would then, find morpheus, take him to look the wormhole and make him jelous of her most amazing dreams, since he would never have come up with them before she did. (closes the door).

KK – Yeah yeah, whatever, so, you're the one who called.

DV – I wanna hang out. got no ideas, tough.

KK – Wanna go watch a movie back at my hive or something?

DV – If i can chose it, sure. (stretches his back)

KK – Yeah, like I would let that happen.

DV – Karkat, let's face it, you never chose something different. Is always romcoms with you. Let's do something different. We could watch something for the irony of it, you might like it. You know, I wanna watch my own movies of sweet bro and hella jeff, just so I would know how badass my comics turned out in the end.

KK – We would have to alchemize a BUNCH OF SHIT to do that, until we have the right combination of stuff to alchemize the fucking movie, dave. Let's do something chill, it's not like you're gonna die of cringe or something of the sort just cause you decided to watch my romcoms. You'll watch a movie with me, not with fucking egghead. And also, YOU ALWAYS SLEEP IN YOUR OWN FUCKING MOVIES!

DV – shhhhhhhhhhhhhh, take it down some notches karkat, jade is asleep!

Dave pulled Karkat closer, holding him gently but firmly in the base of his neck. He than, placed his index finger on the trolls lips, startling him a little, but making sure he would keep quiet. The knight of time glanced at his female slumbered friend through the open curtains and closed glass window. The eyes of his troll friend followed his to find she just turned in bed, eyes still closed, glasses still placed in the bed side table and the street light barely touching the base of her apparently cosy blankets. They both exhaled.

DV – Look, karkat, I don’t really sleep while I watch the movies I choose. I just like being closer to you. Its familiar, it's cosy, it makes me fell...happy, I guess...

KK - I can hug you, we can cuddle, you don't need to pretend you are falling asleep or is already asleep just to get closer to me.

DV - I can't do that yet, karkat, you know that.

KK – That's because of the – he said it with so much disgust, a bitterness spread from the entrance of his digestive tube, known to humans as throat, to all of his mouth – homosexuality thing, ain't it?

Throughout the interaction Daves face was as stoic as usual, but as the subject come up, his unwillingness became evident beyond his facade. His stance got protective, arms crossed; his stoicness not cool, but serious.

DV – Yes, karkat, it is about the homosexuality thing.

Karkat realized he was beginning to travel in murky waters, and that he was unfamiliar and endangered there. He decided to step back.

KK – Forget it. You don't wanna delve into that matter, I won't make you. I don't wanna delve into that matter either. But, then gain, it's stupid.

DV – Trolls don't get it, it's literally an alien concept for you. You didn't get raised in that culture, you don't know how much that shaped peoples lives, families and relationships. I agree it's stupid though. even more now, with all humans from the old-world dead.

KK – Then WHY THE FUCK are we arguing? you think is dumb, I know it's dumb. let's throw that shit in the fan and be happy, FOR FUCK SAKE!

DV – You said you didn't wanna delve into that matter.

KK – I DON'T, SO LET'S AGREE AND GO WATCH THE FUCKING MOVIE!

DV – Yeah, karkat, sure, whatever. (smirking)

KK – THANK JEGUS!

Karkat was starting to get cold and was rubbing his arms up and down. Dave could see it and since he wasn't cold himself, he got his cape and placed it on the trolls shoulders. Karkat didn't even ask, complain or got surprised, he simply accepted and huddled up in the cape. By doing so, they kinda cuddled up involuntarily, but it got so comfy for both, none dared to try and leave the embrace. Sitting on the side walk right in front of Daves apartment, the blond restarted:

DV – You know, karkat, I missed this. Being with you.

They looked, being able to see each other clearly, so close they stood. Their noses and foreheads touched, the flushness making sure of the continued warmness of their insides, stirring, mixing, bonding in that deep shameless, but yet, full of their shame, action that, by being in love, they were about to... Upon further inspection, be interrupted of doing.

JH – Hey dave!

John was flying above them, approaching fast. Dave did tell his best bro of the entire world/apocalypse/new-world that he and karkat were a thing. He did. He knew that. But, then again, he wasn’t ready to show that around. So, he pulled his cape back, uncovering karkat, – who wasn’t really cold, anymore – stood up, turned around to try and hide a huge boner the whole situation gave him, got his chill cool stoicness out of the shelf and back at his face, and started to take deep breathings in order to get his act less straight and more...flacid.

Karkat got dumbfounded. How, in all Paradox Space, could a human change a mood from one thing to another so fast? When John hit the floor, he made his presence known, again. Karkat, on the other hand, wanted to dig a hole and burry himself so deep in it, he would find out what the center of this planet looked like.

JH – Dave, karkat, I was looking you too for a while now. I didn’t know where your new place was, dave, I had to ask around for the longest time and figure out what some carapacians and other trolls were trying to say.

DV – Hey, john! what's up?

JH – I'm fine, I actually came up looking for you and karkat. But... Am I interrupting something?

Karkat wished he could dig his own face with his bare nails. Climb the light pole and bite it until it broke and perforated his gum. He wanted to lick the lamp until his tongue got burned. And all that just because he thought, somehow, that the pain he was feeling now in his cringe, was bigger than the one he would feel if he did all those things.

DV – Nop. nothing. nothing at aaaaaaaaaall.

JH – Oh! okay, then.

At this point, Karkat was actually clawing his own cheeks and thinking how John could be so oblivious to what was going on. Dave, on the other hand, was very thankful for that, since he was dealing as quickly as he could with his, currently, not so straight body part. As soon as the next sentence hit them, their whole perspective of the conversation changed, though.

JH – Truth is, I haven't been looking only for you guys, and I have been looking for people because something important happened.

KK – And WHAT could be SO IMPORTANT that it couldn't have been put on hold UNTIL MORNING, EGGHEAD?

JH – Terezi is back.

KK – You BETTER not be fucking with me egbert. 

JH - I'm dead serious. she's here. A little wounded, but rose and kanaya are already on it. 

DV - I need to wake jade up.  

KK – Does someone else know? 

JH – For now, us, roxy and calliope. roxy went after dirk, jake and the mayor. Calliope went after jane. 

Jade and Dave come back. She's worried and so is he, but she asks first. 

JD – John, is she okay? 

JH – Like I said before, she's getting better. We should go, so you all can check her out. I'm sure she would appreciate the company. 

John was already flying at the end of that sentence, Jade right behind him. Dave got Karkat by his waist and took off. 

KK – LET ME GO DAVE! I'LL RUN THERE! I DON'T NEED TO BE CARRIED! 

DV – You wouldn’t get there in time by running if you were fucking barry allen, karkat. 

KK – WHO THE FUCK IS BARRY ALLEN?! AND EVEN THEN, IT WOULD BE BETTER THAN BEING CARRIED LIKE A WINGLESS TINKERBULL! 

DV – If that's what you want (letting go of him) 

KK - (screaming for his life) 

JD – Dave! go rescue him immediately. 

DV – Why should I? He's an ungrateful bastard. 

JH – It's karkat we are talking about. He's always complaining about stuff. Now go get him before you regret this decision. 

DV - (eye rolls, dives and gets karkat by the waist again) 

KK - (crosses his arms, grimacing) 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**HUMAN KINGDOM:**  

 

They landed on the terrace in Johns house, and followed him inside. Right beside John, a very worried Karkat cried: 

KK – TEREZI? 

KY – Oh! I'm so glad you all decided to join us! 

JD – kanaya, what's the situacion? 

KY – She's going to be okay. Just some minor bruises. Nothing she won't be bragging about in a couple hours. 

KK – KANAYA, WHERE IS SHE? 

KY – In Egberts room, alongside Rose.

Jade notices Kanaya holding some blankets with both her hands. They look very cosy, but the pile of them she's carrying seems rather big. 

JD – do you wnat some help with those? 

JH – Why so many blankets in the first place? 

KY – Rose and i have concluded we should host a pajama party, since we'll all be meeting in  the  same  place  after  such a  long  period  of  time.  But one  of us has  to  keep  an eye out for Pyrope, since she's bruised. 

JH – can you translate? ( whispers) 

JD - they are having a pajama party, but only one of them is taking care of it because the  other one is  looking after terezi. 

JH – welp! that's a great idea kanaya! pajama partys are always fun! 

KY - (smiles) 

JH – I know I't got nothing to do with the matter at hand but... did someone see dave? 

He had just snuck after Karkat who was directed to Johns room, where Terezi and Rose also where. He went  down the corridor just to  lay  on  the  wall with his cool guy vibe.  Or at least that's what that seemed like.

In factuality, his ear was touching the door slightly, but that managed to accomplish nothing for him. He  couldn't hear anything.  So, instead, he just opened the door and entered the room. 

Inside, every one was sitting: Terezi in Johns bed, Rose also in Johns bed, but closer to it's edge and  Karkat in the chest. 

RS – Welcome, brother dear. Karkat was just telling us how you carried him mid flight by his waist. 

KK – you politely forgot to mention the fact that he ALMOST LET ME DIVE TO MY OWN FUCKING DEATH! 

TZ – HAHAHAHAHA, Karkat, you're such a drama queen! Nice job by the way, Dave. 

Dave and Terezi share a fist bump, bonding over that fact. 

DV – hey, sis, i think you can go help your girlfriend out with the party now. I bet Karkat will  manage to keep an eye on Terezi better than anyone else in this place. John and Jade are downstairs helping  Kanaya out. And someone's  gotta get that dirt dishes clean before crocker gets here. She's  gonna do some  mad baking when she arives...probably. 

RS – Then why don't you do the dishes, Dave? 

DV – If i go do the dishes, who's gonna prepare the turntables to the maddening deliver of some sick  beats? Music is the life, the soul, of any party, Rose. 

DK – Then you'll be happy to know that problem is very much solved, bro. 

DV – bro! 

DK – bro! 

They high five. 

DV – So you brought the turntables? 

DK – One of my robots is a turntable. I just need to call him. He can get himself  settled in place and ready for the delivery of beats. 

DV – Cool. How did you manage to put a turntable in a robot? 

DK –  With sick stridery skills, but you know how it goes, i can't just openly reveal the secrets of coolness. 

RS – So it was through magic, then. 

DK – Just if you consider science, engines and coolness magic, Rose. 

In the meanwhile, during the human conversation, the trolls looked at each other and realised they needed to  talk in private. Terezis expression changed suddenly and Karkat knew they needed  to kick  the rest  of the  people out of the room. They though that went  unoticed by anyone,  but Dave noticed,  walking away  right  after. Second intentions cursing through his mind.

TZ – Guys, i appreciate the visit from every one.  I'll be better soon! But I'd like to speak in private with  Karkles. 

RS – That's perfectly comprehensible. I was already on my way to Kanaya in order to help her. 

DK – I need to get the turntables ready, anyway. 

RS – One last thing, though, has anyone seen Dave? 

KK – THERE'S ONE FUCKING DOOR! WHERE ELSE COULD HE HAVE GONE? 

TZ – He turned left, by the way. 

RS – Much aprecciated, Terezi. 

Rose tried to find Dave, but her attempts were futile even if she tried following Terezis recomendation of going left. Dave wasn't far, though, floting near the  window  of Johns  room. His audicion and interest, peeked by whatever the trolls intended to talk about. So...he listened. 

        Inside the room, Karkat leaves his previous seat, so that he could be closer to Terezi. Sitting on the bed, next to her legs, he starts vomiting his words and feels. 

KK – WHY DIDN'T YOU CONTACT US WHEN YOU WERE IN YOUR LUDICROUS SERCH FOR FUCKING VRYSKA? 

TZ – But I did contact, Karkat. 

KK – ONLY JOHN! WHAT ABOUT ME? DO YOU BULGESUCKING FUCKER'S GOT ANY GOG FUCKING CLUE HOW MUCH I WAS FUCKING WORRIED? 

TZ – HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, Karkles, I missed you! And i know you were worried. But if i warn one person, i expect that person to warn everyone else. I didn't exactly  have  too  much time to stay on my phone when flying around a massive black hole. Wich brings me back to the main topic...(her face turning serious) Just like  the ultimate  weapon,  Vriska is  nowhere  to be found. 

KK – Oh....... 

Suddenly the door opens and Jane barges in. She looks worried and ready for action, getting straight to the point. 

JN – Terezi, quickly, show me your leg. 

TZ – Yeah, sure, but half of it is inside a cooler under this bed. Nicely wrapped if i may say so. 

KK – Wait...WHAT? YOU LOST YOUR LEG? AND WASN'T TELLING ME? 

TZ - I didn't lose it! It's very safelly tucked underneath the bad, thank you.

JN – Karkat, i need you to go down stairs, grab me a pan with hot water and towels. Only come back when you have all af those. Go! Now! 

KK – OKAY! SHEESH! 

He said while leaving the room. 

After Karkat left the room, Jane took Terezis leg out of the cooler, unwrapped it as well as Terezis knee, placed then together and started the healing process. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry the formating got so shitty. I'm still getting used to AO3 and i hope you can still enjoy the plot even after this catastrophic formating. If anyone's got tips please know that I would love to hear them.


	3. Chapter 3

**JOHN'S HOUSE:**

 

Dave was flying right beside Johns room, in the external area, very close to the window. He knew Karkat had flown from the scene to the kitchen in order to, somehow, try to help Jane heal Terezi. The girls were the only two left inside the room. 

He felt dirty. He wasn't supposed to listen to a conversation explicitly asked to be held privately. It was like his  _cool_  shrunk to a mini golf ball size, got hit with a baseball bat aiming to strike a homerun in the other end of a soccer field. No Strider should feel like that.  

His thoughts started to wonder, and he got himself reflecting on what Karkat and Terezi had been talking. The weapon was lost...again. It made sense. They were supposed to find it first, so it had to be lost eventually for the time loop completion. Vryska had been the last to use it. The last to see it. She was also the one to find it in the first place. As shitty as she had been to your group, you know, as a matter-of-fact, that John will not be pleased to know it. And it crushes your heart. You fold your arms in your chest. 

For all your time in Troll Kingdom you still hang out with John a lot, kind of as a compensation for the meteor years. You had missed him in all his goofy glory. Plenty of feeling jams ended up happening and you know your best friend in the whole universe – other than the Mayor, because the Mayor is everyones bestest friend – is not feeling so good. 

He's grieving, to be accurate. 

RX – HEY DAVE! 

Roxy pulls you out of your own thoughts, bringing you back to the universe you and your friends created, with the subtlety of a brick in a church window. She's right underneath you, both feet on the ground, looking up at your previously very concentrated face. Only now you register the fact that she'd been invisible all along and uncloaked just now. You're, all so very glad, Bro never had the ability to be invisible in the first place. Even if you couldn't see him most of the times he kicked your ass into a pulp It would've been impossible to set boundaries between you and him if he could get invisible. And you have enough scars about your past as it was. 

DV – oh. HEY MOM! 

She giggles at the way he refers to her. The boy gets down to the same level as the girl, planting both feet in the ground. He's aware he got busted trying to sneak a peek at the conversation between the trolls, but as cool as he's ever been, he'll still try to throw her of his back. Before striking a friendly conversation, the blond unfolds his arms, setting them on his pockets with the thumbs out of cover. His back is tilted slightly backwards and so is his head. A confident pose for a confident, cool, aloof man. Perfect. 

DV – sup. 

Roxys smile widens. She knows what he's doing. He was sooo snooping around like a sneaky war ninja chasing info for his side. With her interest peeked, she inquires, cutting right to the chase: 

RX – Why where you peeking at Johns bedroom? Something interesting going on there? (nudge nudge) 

DV – What are you talking about? I would never snoop around a conversation. 

RX – Oh, so they were just talking. What were they talking about that got you so worked up? You were making a pretty serious face up there. 

Dave didn't talk back. He had tried but failed. His cool and aloof facade turned into a serious face, staring right at Roxy. She knew that, whatever was headed to her, wasn't good. When his voice came out, it wasn't mad, or serious, but it wasn't relaxed either. It was objective. 

DV – The Ultimate Weapon is lost again. Vryska was nowhere to be found. Terezi lost a leg, but Jane is working on that. 

RX – I didn't get to meet her, but you sound like you'll miss her a lot. 

DV – I, particularly, won't. But John and Terezi will. John is my best bro, and he's been through a lot already... I don't know how he'll react. I don't want to see him broken, Mom. 

DV – He told me a bunch of stuff that went down the first time around in the meteor. He had to correct a bunch of shit. But he told me the greatest change in all of the things he had to correct was he had to make sure Vryska was kept alive. 

DV – Everything changed for the better after that.  

DV – Now think about what the knowledge that she's not coming back will do to him. After all the effort he put into saving her. The guy used to have a damn crush on her! 

Both blonds gazed at the open window, checking the inside of the house and seeing a wild John, running errands like taking out the trash, bringing in more cake batter for Jane, telling Dirk where all the sockets were, bringing in more blankets and pillows for Kanaya, making sure that the movies selected to be played during the event had a little something for everyone and just, in general, being thoroughly occupied. John didn't want to think about what happened, mainly because he had lost so much, made so many sacrifices, gone through so many despair inducing situations that he just wanted to be mindnumbingly occupied not to think about anything. 

Dave knew this, since he was Johns go-to-guy when "feeling stuff" got unbearable.  

DV – He told me once that his god-tiers name had been a premonition. When he got it, Jack killed his dad, and that's when all the loss started for him... Well, all the permanent ones. Heir of Breath. Heir of Wind. Heir of things that come as easy as they go. Heir of the ephemeral, Heir of nothing that ever lasts. 

RX – But Dave, the wind keeps on howling, doesn't matter if it's passing by waterfalls, mountains, deserts, fields or even a city. He just pushes on through. And as such, so will he. He has decided to keep on going, to not let things get him down. He may be grieving, but he obviously won't let that get the best out of him. 

She points out the fact that, after he stopped for a bit to look at the television, which was facing the opposite direction of the window, every one surrounded him, and his smile was as big as ever. He even saw both of you and waved, smile wide in his face. You guys wave back, side smiling genuinely. Both of you head away of the window and close to the main door. 

DV – Even so. Vryska was an integral part of the meteor crew. All the relationships that we have, the way we have, happened exclusively because she was there. Rose not indulging on her drinking habit, the moiraliegence she had with Terezi... Karkat and I... 

RX – I just thought about something. Terezi must be kinda broken. It wouldn't be weird if she started to look for comforting things or company. I think that must've been why she wanted to talk to Karkat in the first place, don'tcha think? 

DV – Yeah. That makes sense.

RX – Since, ya'know, they were close with each other on Alternia and got closer throughout their whole session, not to mention that, even in post-retcon-John-timeline Karkat did try to put the moves on her early on. Only to be shut down, but he did nonetheless. 

DV – Okay. 

RX – And now, she returns emptyhanded: no weapon, no moirail, no leg. 

DV – Her leg was reattached, but yeah. 

RX – Do you see where I'm going? 

DV – In fact, yes. But no. Its definitely not that. I'm not jealous at all. I'm Dave – fucking – Strider, the hottest god to ever create a universe. Competing only with Dirk, and that's just cause  he's my brother. 

RX – Said the guy who was overhearing his boyfriends conversation with his previous crush. Don't blame me if I don't bite that piece of shit of an excuse, Davey. But seriously, I couldn't care less what you call it. You should go to him and have a chat. You're being presented with an opportunity neither John nor Terezi will ever have again. So you should stop beating around the bush and go be with your boyfriend. Don't let fear or insecurity get in your way. You're cool. You're a Strider. So stride the fuck outta here and into that trolls cozy cuddly fuzzy heart. 

DV-… 

DV – Wow 

DV -… 

DV – You really sounded like a mother, now.  

Roxy giggles and Dave leave the porch of Johns house in the direction of the laundry room entrance, but not before semi-shouting: 

DV – THANKS, MOM. 

That's when he realized Roxy called Karkat *his boyfriend* twice and he didn't bother correcting her even once. "I don't think I wanna, anyway" he thought with a smirk "It's gotta nice ring to it". 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**MOSTLY DAVE POV:**

 

The blond crossed the Laundry room into the kitchen and got a silence greeting from the back of the short troll, who was focused on the boiling water and already holding white towels.  

Poor dude doesn't know he got played. Jane's already done with Terezi and even gave John a full list of what to bring, since she'll be basically playing cooking mama so much cooking that good looking's gonna do. On another note, she's Johns ecto-sister/ex-gramma. Don't hit on her, even if it's only in your mind. It's disturbing. 

Gog, he's got a nice behind. But I'm gonna talk with his face first, cause I know I've been douching him. Fuck, my fingertips are tingling. Okay, I'm gonna make this happen. 

DV – Sup. 

Smooth. 

KK – Go away, Dave.  

Shesh, someone got pricked in the ass while I was talking to Roxy. Did I make him that pissed about the whole flying debacle? Even so, he's just wasting Johns gas. 

DV – Dude, Jane's got it in the bag. Terezi's all better 'n shit already. She's not even upstairs anymore, man. Turn the oven off. You're just wasting fuel. 

I put my back against the counter, arms folded over my chest, facing him objectively, so he knows I'm looking at him even if my shades are on. Holy fuck, the counter right beside the oven is cold. Not gonna let it show, but fuck, it's cold. 

KK – Dave, why THE FUCK, would Jane tell me to come get these things for her is she DIDN'T NEED THEM. 

Wow, he's riled up. His face in a scowl. Brows furrowed. Fuck me, even then, he was smoking hot. Damn, what's wrong with me. Okay, he's staring and I'm not speaking and this is not what I wanted. 

DV – When you're trying to heal you need focus and silence, man. I'm not saying you would be screaming through the whole thing, that'd be stupid. But the more people around the harder it is to focus. Jane's skilled and all. If it wasn't for her many of us wouldn't be here today and all that, but we were not in a kill or die situation, so I get it. She'd wanna be less stressed and all.  

KK – Your point, asswipe? 

Oh, fuck... he wants to bite me. And not in the good way. The bad way. The "rip a piece of my skin and make me bleed" way. His fangs are gritted so tight he looks like he's about to get a jaw cramp. 

DV – She didn't want you around. 

Okay, that sounded harsh, but, then gain, it's true. 

KK – Oh YEAH? And how could YOU know that? 

DV – Dude, you never got to watch a series called "My Wife and Kids"? Spoiler alert: Jane did to you what a nurse does to one of the characters when that characters wife is in the process of giving birth. It was basically a distraction so that the guy wouldn't freak the fuck out and make a already serious and dangerous procedure even worse. 

His brow was so furrowed it looked like an old woman cheek. He was gonna give me hell, I could tell. Lifted index and all that. Rose has the best timing in the whole world/paradox space/new universe. She went in, elegant in pajamas – and I still wonder how the fuck does someone manage to be elegant in pijeys – and stopped him before he could even begin to rip the shit out of my stoicism with his made-up cusses. 

RS – Karkat, would you be so kind as to let me have the boiling water? Kanaya and I would like to have some tea. 

He stood dead in his tracks. Slowly, his finger withdrew, his posture straightened and he said: 

KK – Yeah, SURE! WHAT-THE-FUCK-EVER.  WHY DO I CARE? TAKE IT. TAKE THE FUCKING TOWELS AS WELL. YOU KNOW WHAT? TAKE IT ALL! IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE SOMETHING ELSE TO GIVE ANYWAY. IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN CONTRIBUTE WITH SOMETHING EVEN REMOTELY RELEVANT, ANYWAY! JUST TAKE OUT OF ME WHATEVER YOU CAN AND FUCK IT, PUNCH IT, BURN IT TO THE GROUND, CAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER AND NEVER WILL, SINCE I'M AN IRRELEVANT PIECE OF HOOFBEAST SHIT! 

As he said it, he took his shirt off, emptied his pockets leaving different things lying on the ground. He left the kitchen in a couple of strides and slammed the door of the laundry room shut with a loud bang. I looked down to gaze upon what he had taken out of his silladex: a couple different sickles, troll snacks, human snacks, sodas, doritos and then I saw what crushed my heart. He didn’t bring one, he brought a whole pack of apple juice. And of my favorite brand, nonetheless. 

Rose looked down as well and saw a bottle of handcrafted grape juice made out of the grape she liked the most when she used to drink wine. 

She turned the oven off, crouched, took the bottle between her hands and then looked at me. 

RS – Dave, what just unfolded before my eyes was no usual angry rant. I also know that, right before I got here, both of you were having an argument of sorts. I didn't hear the details, but I assume the anger he directed at me while he was throwing his tantrum was misplaced. So, know that it's wholeheartedly that I ask you: what just happened?  

I heard her. Every word. I couldn't answer, though. With the AJ in one hand and his sweeter in the other, I flew out of the kitchen after Karkat and when I didn’t find him in the laundry room, I went out of the house. 

The weather wasn't windy, but it was cold. I remember how he was cozy in my cape and immediately got an urgency sense: the fucker must be freezing. He left without his sweeter. 

Looking around I didn't see him, but managed to pic a trail. He ran to the woods. Following the trail of broken tree branches and footprints I ended up in a lake side, surrounded by trees and reflex of the glittering of the moon in the water surface. Damn, that looked right out of one of Karkats cheesy romcoms. 

It took me some time to find him, but when I did, he was sitting with his right leg bent and other dangling in a huge and thick tree branch that was hovering right above the water, looking down at his own reflex. He looked like he had just stopped crying. One hand was holding the branch and the other was half folded above his knee. 

The bare chest left his grubscars visible and the whole set made him look like a drama hero in his down point. 

Fuck...that would make me the goofy sidekick that arrives to tell the hero to have hope or some equivalent kind of sappy shit. 

KK – What do you want, Dave?  

Shit! Have I just been staring at him all that time? 

DV – Dude, it's cold as fuck! You're gonna get a cold or something worse. Put on your sweeter, man. 

He got the sweeter from my hand and stared at his symbol for a while, than he stood up in the branch, and threw the sweeter in the middle of the lake with conviction. 

DV – Man! What the hell! What was that for? I had all the trouble to bring it for you! 

KK – OH WELL! THANK YOU! THANK YOU FOR BRINGING ME AN ETERNAL REMINDER OF WHAT A FAILURE I AM AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN, NO MATTER HOW HARD A FUCKING TRIED! Now, go away. Go have fun with John and the rest of our friends. 

Okay, I was not about to let my crush freeze his...shame globes – what a weirdass name for balls, seriously - off. Even if he was being a moody drama queen with a stick so up his ass that I could see it poking his brain through his eyes. So, I took off my cape and offered it to him. Fuck, it's cold and by taking it off I started to feel kinda naked. More so because of the fricking wind that was blowing. Damn it, Egbert! Keep your element in check, man! I'm all covered up and I feel like I'm gonna freeze my bolls off! 

I realized I had fucked up and he wanted to  _actually_  talk about it when he refused to take it. He refused  _the cape_. I could not believe my eyes. I just...couldn’t. The cape always made anything better, or at least chilled his nerves enough for us to talk about it nice n’ easy. And since I could not believe my eyes, I took my aviators off and said with as much convictions as I could muster: 

DV – Karkles, you're not a failure, man. 

He gave me a look like he was mentally stabbing me. I Put the cape back, cherishing in it’s warmth for, like’ a second or two. 

KK – There were twelve of us. Six died, one turned irreparably evil, two probably died in the final showdown. And the people I, somehow, managed not to screw up to unredeemable ways keep reminding me that, ever since my fucked-up session ended, I'm not needed in any way, shape or form. I'm not needed Dave. I might not be unwanted, but I can't help or be of help ever. And when I did try, things turned to shit more often than not. 

This is the gayest and earnest I'll ever sound in this life but fuck it. 

DV – Karkat, I need you.  

Wow. That sounded even gayer that I thought it would. 

KK – THE FUCK YOU DO! YOU'RE AN IMORTAL KNIGHT OF TIME THAT'S FRIENDS WITH ALL THE MOST BADASS AND OVERPOWERED FUCKS THIS SIDE OF PARADOX SPACE! YOU'RE LITERALLY PART OF A PANTEON! YOU DON’T NEED ME! NO ONE NEEDS ME! AND THE ONE MOTHERFUCKER WHO I WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF SPLIPPED RIGHT THROUGH MY FINGERS INTO THE DEVIOUS HANDS OF THE CREPPY, BULGEMUNCHING, NOOKSNIFFER, PIECE OF HOOFBEAST *SHIT* WHO ORCHASTRATED OUR AND EVERYONE ELSES DEMISE! SO NO, DAVE, YOU DON’T NEED ME! AND I’M FUCKING GLAD YOU DON’T! CAUSE IF YOU WERE TO DEPEND ON ME, YOU WOULD EITHER BE DEAD OR HAVE TURNED EVIL! 

DV – Well, I would be a sexy evil bastard. 

KK – THAT'D BE WORSE, SHIT FOR BRAINS! 

DV – Not if you were my evil partner. 

KK – CAN'T YOU SEE I’M SERIOUS HERE!? 

DV – I can see you’re frustrated, alienated in your own failures. But, if you hadn’t failed in the ways you did, me and this panteon of overpowered fucks would not even have been born, dude. You weren’t joking when you said you are our god, even if I get creeped out by the thought that we got created by your friends as well. From the dream bubble experiences, I know most of them were crazy. But still, I would ask you to change nothing what-so-ever if I ever got back in that time period – which I won’t, cause stable time loops are still a thing I do – cause if I did that, I wouldn’t have gotten to know you, or Kanaya, or any of my human friends in real life. Not to mention I would still be living on Earth. So, no, dude, you’re not only very worthy, but so awesome you did all the right things that lead to the alfa time line right, first try, without even actually trying. 

KK – EVEN if that was true – and I'm not saying you are right about any of that, dipshit – that doesn’t change the fact that I didn’t actually know what the fuck I was getting myself at and, therefore, deserve no recognition what-so-fucking-ever for any accomplishments that lead to this outcome. Also, that wouldn’t change the fact that no one needs me. 

DV – No one needs anyone, man. We are our own flesh and blood. The only things we actually need in this life is food, sleep and oxigen. Everything else we say we need, is either out of circumstance or desire. So, let me tell’ya the truth: I need you, cause I just plain out want you. 

KK – Don't you mean “we”? 

DV – I mean exactly what I said. 

Yes. His eyes went wide. Breeeeeeeeeeathe, Dave. You’re starting to not sound reeeeealy like yourself. I’m still going to fly closer to the guy, though.  

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

Fuck. He’s staring. We’re staring. He’s blushing. Am I blushing? Fuck, I think I might be blushing. Does he want me to make a move? Is...is that it? 

Okay, I’m gonna make a move.  In three, two, one... 

He’s touching my hand. Damn it, Karkat! I tought I was the one to take the lead. 

KK – You were taking too long, fuckass. 

DV – Did I say that out loud? 

KK – If it made you so embarrassed, I can make sure to occupy your nonsense hole spewer with something much more interesting than your obnoxious word vomits. 

And then, mothefucker kissed me. 


	5. Chapter 5

**DAVE POV:**

 

I wondered about the possibility of throwing myself into that lake so the redness would stop spreading. And It's not just my face anymore. My chest feels like I went back to LOLAC and threw a metal piece into the lava: hot and melting. I think my knees would buckle if I wasn’t flying – but if anyone asked I would deny it to my last breath. His kisses are so damn fine he makes me wonder how can an alien race as war driven as his, raised to maul and thrive in brutality, equipped with fangs and claws have such soft, warm and tender lips.  

We parted, red as two anime school girls. Now he was holding my cape, keeping me close to him. He still looked sad, and in the back of my head I knew why. 

DV – I'm sorry I freaked out in front of John and let you fall when we were flying. 

KK – I get why you let me fall, even if I’m still mad at you about it. What I don’t get is why in the mighty fuck you reacted the way you did when Egbert found us. He was the first fucking one you told about us when we finally met the rest of our crew for the end game. Even he realized we were in the middle of something. 

DV – Deflexion Reflex. Used to use it a lot with the whole freudian slip thing when talking to Rose. Or anyone who’d slip into “too personal” territory, really. It’s a reflex, so I don’t control it. It usually happens when I get in embarrassing situations. 

KK – So being with me is fucking embarrassing for you? 

Oh fuck. That is not what I meant. 

DV – Yes, but the sex kind of embarrassing and not the bad kind of embarrassing. 

Ohhhhhh yes. He’s blushing. I think I said something right. 

KK – The sex kind of embarrassing? 

Wait...what? Oh fuck. I said that, didn’t I? Okay, shit’s getting awkward. I’m gonna put my aviators back in my face to avoid this. Why is my throat is getting itchy? Krhom Krhom Krhom. 

DV – I meant the good kind of embarrassing. Like’ the butterflies in the stomach, the face heat, the sweaty palms, the tingling sensation, the inability to keep looking for too long to a single spot or to a single person. You know...all that lovey-dovey straight out of your romcoms kind of shit. 

KK – But if you feel like *THAT* why do you act the exact *OPPOSITE*??? 

DV – Hey, don’t pin that on me. You act like the situation is awkward plenty, man. 

KK – CAUSE YOU FUCKING MAKE ME CRINGE WITH YOUR DEFLEXIONS! CAUSE EGBERT IS A FUCKING DOOR THAT DOESN’T GET THE MEANING OF SUBTETLY! AND YOU WITH THE METAPHORS AND CALLBACKS DOESN’T HELP IT IN THE SLIGHTEST! SO YEAH, I ACT AWKWARD WHEN THE SITUATION IS AWKWARD, YOU DIPSHIT! BUT MOSTLY BECAUSE YOU MAKE IT AWKWARD BY ACTING LIKE WE DON’T LIKE EACH OTHER, BY ACTING LIKE WE EITHER HAVE A FEUD OR ARE JUST FRIENDS! WILL IT KILL YOU TO HAVE AN ARM AROUND ME WHEN ONE OF OUR FRIENDS IS AROUND? DO YOU PROVE ANYTHING TO YOURSELF OR ANYONE WHEN YOU ACT SPITEFULL TOWARDS ME? LIKE’ WHAT THE FUCK DUDE??? Seriously. You’re not the only one in a new position relationship wise. We agreed to commit and compromise. Well...I FEEL LIKE I’M THE ONLY ONE COMPROMISING! 

DV – Well...I’m sorry but I just can’t kiss you in front of every one like it’s nobody’s business, dude. 

KK – I'm not talking about kissing, Dave. But can you even hold my hand in front of Egbert without panicking? We were hugging. Close to kissing, but hugging! And you stormed out like there were ants in your pants! 

DV – It’s not because we were hugging that I stormed out. I actually could have kept like that. 

KK – Oh. Then why did you? 

Fuck. I didn’t think this through. I either tell him the truth, which could be funny, or I divert, which he’s not gonna let me do, or I lie. 

KK – Dave, why did you? 

Ok, I'm gonna go with option “a” and if things go south, I play it as a joke and lie to cover. Simple. 

DV – I... Uhm... I did have something in my pants, as a matter of fact. 

Fuuuuuuuck, this is embarrassing. 

KK – Was it a bug? Did you have a fucking bug in your pants? Is that really something that can happen? 

DV – That is something that can happen, but no. It wasn’t a bug. 

KK – Than what was it? 

Yep. Definitely red now. 

KK – Dave, you’re even redder than before. What was it? 

DV – The thing is, when we were in the side walk, I was really into what we were doing, and my body started responding accordingly. 

KK – Okay, so? 

DV – So, in the heat of the moment I was trying to... kind of hide... something. 

KK – And that was? 

DV – A.....boner. 

Nop. My voice definitely didn’t fail in that last word. It’s just my imagination. 

KK – What the fuck is a boner? 

Okay, I didn’t see that coming.  

DV – Are you serious? 

KK – Of course not, dipshit! - he's kind of laughing. Nice. Fuck. 

DV – Then...? 

KK – For someone trying to pull the "cool kid" facade you are such a square, man. Yeah, I knew you were hiding a boner. Your fucking undeveloped species has no curtesy sense regarding interaction with a potential pailing mates.  

This is awkward. 

DV – So you knew all along? 

KK – Yeah, you had a pretty fucking visible tent on your pants the whole time. 

DV – Then you do know why I got flustered when I heard John. 

KK – Partially, but can't you control it? 

DV – No, not really, I don't have that many muscles down there. 

KK – But, still, why did you jump out of fucking cover? You were way better protected by our closeness. 

DV – Like I said, I panicked. 

Waaait. Trolls can control their boners? 

KK – You really can't keep your fucking shit together, can you? 

DV – Wait, wait,wait. You can hide if you have a boner? 

KK – Uh......I can't really...for you see...mine is not like... 

DV – Your bulge doesn't resemble my dick. Is that what you're trying to say? 

He shook his head up and down, slightly. His cheeks red as ripe tomatoes. 

DV – Well, what does your bulge look like? 

KK – A...tongue...i suppose 

DV – You have a tentadick? 

KK – DON'T PHRASE IT LIKE THAT, YOU ASSHOLE! 

DV – My bad, my bad. But seriously, you got me curious to know what it looks like. 

KK – Well, you are going to stay curious, nimbwit 

DV – Oh, c’mon, at least describe your love tentacle for me 

KK – IF YOU KEEP THIS RELENTLESS MOCKERY OF MY BULGE, I’M GONNA SHOVE IT SO DEEP IN YOUR THROAT, I AM GOING TO BE SURE TO BULGING CHOKE YOU TO DEATH! YOU BLITHERING SACK OF SHIT! 

DV – If you keep saying shit like that you might just make a girl dripping wet, Karkat. Is that what you want? You want to watch me choke on your love tentacle while you get off fucking my face? 

KK – Why? Why are we having this conversation? Why haven’t I already bitten you into submission? 

DV – Because you know I would have liked that. 

KK – FINE! I GIVE UP! I WILL SHOW YOU MY BULGE. BUT UNDER THREE CONDICIONS ONLY! First: you are not going to touch it. Second: you have to show me yours. Third: it's gotta be inside Johns house. It's freezing out here! 

DV – You know what a dick looks like. 

KK – THIS – IS – GOING – TO – BE – A – QUID – PRO – QUO – S I T U A T I O N. AND... not yours, specifically. 

Oh, shit! He wants to see what I'm packing.  

Ooooh yes. 

We are, so, making this happen. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: Orgasm delay/denial 
> 
> (I might correct that in a one-shot, ova style, eventually, but so far I'm happy with the ending it has)

**MOSTLY KARKAT POV:**

 

WHY? WHYYYYYY DID I AGREE WITH HIM??? 

This is most definitely the most awkward situation I have put myself in, and that is saying something, since I used to commit pale infidelity helping Eridan with his feelings back in Alternia before the game began. 

But noooooo, I just *had* to win my past self in the “most awkward situation you put yourself in” contest. 

Although, I think I could broad that reach of infidelity, since everybody asked me to help them with their romantic inclinations. I miss those times... a bit. 

But back to the present. 

How did I end up in Egderp’s clothing ablution block, shirtless in front of my matesprit while he is shitless too, about to take even more clothing off of myself, while also expecting him to do the same? 

Well, at least it’s not windy in here. Windy. Don’t think of John, don’t think of John, don’t think of....DAMNIT! 

OH....OH FUCK...He’s taking his pants off now. I... I think I should do the same... Fuck, this is so embarrassing...I can’t even look forward. 

DV – Like what you see? I’ll tell’ ya, can’t find a plush this rump just ’bout anywhere. 

He said pointing at his rear end. 

It does look nice and squishy.  

I bet he is light enough for me to grab him and lift him off the ground while holding his ass and pin him against the wall. 

Stop having weird thoughts! You said it yourself that nothing’s going to happen. What will he think of you if you go back on your own words! 

Actually, it’s Dave mothefucking Strider. He did fucking coarse you into this by making you feel awkward about exactly this kind of situation. He will probably think even more highly of you. 

To think you actually thought that having his game turned against him would have made him feel ashamed of his moves. You are an idiot, past me. A full, blown out IDIOT. 

KK – You can’t actually expect me to believe that your metaphorically addressed ass is soft just because you said so. 

What am I doing? 

KK – It definitely looks squeezable, but that’s just how it looks, dumbass. 

What the fuck am I doing? 

KK – It could actually be really flat and your underpants lift it so they look as quote plush and rump unquote as you say they are. 

WHAT – THE – FUCK – AM – I – DOING???? 

DV – Karkat! Are you suggesting what I think you are? 

KK – If I was suggesting something I think I would have said it out loud. Unlike you I don’t rejoice in frivolity and beating around the metaphorical bush. 

And yet, here I am, drowning this for as long as I can.  

DV – You’re being very critic for someone who hasn’t even started to take his clothes off in the first place. 

KK – THAT is due to the fact that I want your jaw to stay in place after you see me undressed. I want to keep being able to kiss you after this intercultural xenobiological exchange happens, in case you didn’t know. 

WHY? WHY AM I DOING THIS? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? WHY CAN’T I MAKE IT STOP? *WHY IS HE GETTING CLOSER*? *WHY DOES MY FACE FEEL EVEN WARMER*?*HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE*?*WHY IS HE TOUCHING MY CHEEKS TENDERLY AND GETTING EVER CLOser....* 

. 

. 

. 

His lips are soft and warm, just like the rest of him. The kiss starts tender and still, with him enveloping my upper lip and me enveloping his lower, but I move, suckling it carefully and aware of my fangs. I move up and the positions switch and keep switching. 

The hand he has in my lower back feels cold and I wish he could feed off of my warmth, because I feel like I’m two steps away of combusting. 

Noooo, idiot, don’t go away. 

DV – Hey, I promise my soft and tender human lips are gonna be ripe for the taking again no matter what you have in your pants. I just ask that...well...you know...the same gets to be valid in retribution? 

KK – You are an *idiot* for ever thinking that wouldn’t be the case, shithead. 

I pulled him back closer by the side of his waist, making our chests go one against another, and setting my hands in his lower back this time. One of his cold hands rests in my shoulder, his thumb rubbing against my skin while the other went to allocate four fingers in the back of my neck, since the thumb of this hand was anchored before my hearing sponge. Contrasting strongly with his hands and other peripheral body parts, his torso was amazingly warm and I could see that warmth spread across his face. I wasn’t going to be the only flushfaced idiot in this candyblood red concupiscient rumbus party.  

DV – You are adorably cute. 

Looking at his everything, I dove in the direction of his neck. His fingers intertwine with my hair at the base of my scalp, and the other runs by the upper part of my torso, brushing against my grubscars in its way to set itself in the high if my back. I exhale a hot breath in his neck, and take a tentative lick. His breath hitched slightly, and I knew I had reached a Jackpot.  

Then, my tongue danced around his very exposed jugular, arriving at his ears. Slight strangled moans playing as per my theme song, entering my hearing sponges and sadistically arousing me with a current of unbridled desire.  

KK – And you, sadistically pitiful.  

I whispered in his ear. 

DV – How came...you’re... the one teasing and...I’m the sadist? 

He managed to say in between tuned down moans. I knew we couldn’t due to circumstance, but I wanted to hear them at full height so fucking much! He’s never ever saying anything comprehensible, anyway, mind running as fast as the nonsense he says. So what difference would it make to turn his mind into lascivious mush? 

Oh, yeah, that’d make me want to break him in other ways as well, making his mind go numb, his mouth incapable of saying understandable words, not just sentences, his body wiggling and writhing and begging with need. 

With an ever so light touch I ran my claws behind his back, starting at his shoulder blades and going down very slowly, feeding of the compromisingly shameful and yet mirthfully unrestrained moans that he muffled in my neck. I stayed in that path, getting more and more aroused, until arriving at his lower back. Then, I changed the course of my hands to rake him by the sides, right above the waist line. 

The moan he made got me to unsheathe immediately. I was so glad I was still wearing my pants. 

KK – I might be teasing you, bulgemuncher, but with reactions like the ones you’re giving, you are the tease in on itself. 

DV – Are you calling me a tease? Am I a tease, Karkat? 

He was still too conscious for my taste. 

I grabbed his ass and lift his body, placing him above John’s cloth washing machine. 

KK – Yes, Dave, I’m explicitly calling you the biggest tease ever. But we both know I am a masochistic fuck. Which means you’re just perfectly fitted for what I need. 

I started to run my hands by the front of his body, reclining him into the machine and getting more and more curious as my touch got closer to the rosy little circles he had in his chest. His anxiousness rising the closer to them I got. I needed more of his reactions, so I didn’t want to stop, but the conversation I overheard Arquiusprite have with his brother ran in my head and made me a little nervous to touch them, so a stopped when I was about to. 

He made a frustrated moan and I said fuck it.  

With the soft part of my index I drew a circle around it. He exhaled hard, and looking with attention, it wasn’t his only hard thing. 

With both hands going in to action, I pinched his rosy chest circles. He shook, wiggled, wroth, covered his mouth with his hand and let out little string of muffled noises and curses. 

DV – Karkat, what the fuck, man, are you trying to milk me?  

After speaking he left his mouth slightly ajar, breathing in hard and swallowing dry in the end. 

He was still wearing his obnoxious ironic shades, but with the way the lighting came in I could see his eyes. 

Dilated pupils looking directly at me filled to the brim with lust. 

I think I’m getting somewhere. 

KK – If you let a single drop of dairy product out of your nubs, I’m leaving you here to your own devices. Teased and unsatisfied. 

DV – Thank god... I can’t do that, then. Only... females... can do that. But, seriously, man... if you keep... teasing me like this I’m not gonna... be able to suppress my voice... properly. 

This time, I was the one who shook. An electric spike coursing through my torso, going from each of my grubscars straight to my nook and bulge. Seeing him be so willingly vulnerable, hearing his voice be this strained and feeling his soft, tender flesh in my fingertips made it all surreal and arousing. 

KK – That'd be a shame, since I've barely began 

I lean in, letting one of my hands go down to his side in order to uphold my body, allowing me to lick his chest in a spiraling pattern until it reaches the nubs. I lick one, feeling the different skin texture and getting an outright moan. Not strained, restrained or muffled. 

Like my writhing bulge is not enough to deal with in the pants department, I feel that my nook opens and clenches hard, like it would try to squeeze the life out of anything that tried its luck inside. The folds are past wet already, going into drenched territory and slurry lubrified the entire front of my trousers. I could fucking feel it all soaking my crotch and running down my thighs. 

He realizes his mistake and puts a hand in his mouth as a “Shit! Sorry!” I don’t let him dwell on it for long, pushing his right leg up with my left arm, exposing the inner dwellings of his thighs an getting a full look of him. 

Except for the obnoxious shades and the broken record undies, he was naked. A lump located in his crotch, under the cloth cover, could be seen with a tiny amount of wetness near the rim. His chest and face flushed in his trademark red, and a hand clasped against his mouth coming slightly ajar.  

DV – Man, what’s with the ogling? 

KK – Nothing much. Just taking this in before I break you. 

I can’t keep a grin inside, giving him a nasty, wide, predatory smile.  

His belly and crotch compress and he exhale hard. The spot of translucent liquid smearing his underwear grows and he quivers.  

I kneel and caress the inside of his lift thigh, from top to bottom, suiting the area and appreciating the soft, warm flesh. Upon reaching the rim of underwear, I bring them back up, passing four of my claws lightly and rejoicing upon the sight of him arching his back, upheld in his elbows, contracting his belly and gritting his teeth in a failed attempt to hold the moaning in. 

Getting my face closer, I pressed my tongue against a particular area, where the skin was thin and frail, making up and down movements and not taking my gaze off of him for a single fucking microsecond. It payed off. He was trying so hard to hold his voice by doing anything else he could: gritting his teeth, contracting his belly, breathing hard, but you could still hear them, clogged in the back of his breathtube. When some eventually escaped, he would school himself back into that pathetic silence attempt. But fuck if I didn’t want to hear him scream, unbridled, unrestrained until he would go hoarse. 

DV – Karkat...if you keep...uhnnn...thisss upI...ah~...won’t be a~able to keep my voissss down... 

His words make the things in my pants pained with arousal. The wriggling of my bulge only increases and the amount of slurry produced could have started to fill a bucket already. These pants were destined to the trash. There was no saving them. Touching myself from above the cloth to assess the damage, my hand came back like I had dipped it in a filial pail. But this gave me an idea. 

I cleaned my hand in my pants, smudging my outer thigh with it and stood to my feet. Then, I slithered my hand through his chest, neck, nape reaching his hair and grabbing a fist full, pulling it towards me and exposing his neck entirely and opening his mouth. With my other hand I scooted him closer to the edge of the machine and guided his other leg up, letting him opened up. 

KK – Then don’t. 

His opened mouth received my tongue generously, and I covered every single lip space of his with mine. His breathing was fast and his arms embraced me through the back like I was his life line. Hands holding my shoulders. 

As I approached his part with mine, the wriggling went from frenetic to frenzied. Upon touch, everything stood still for a second. His was stiff, and pulsating. When I couldn’t hold it still anymore, and my bulge danced inside my pants above his part, drenching him in the process and getting friction for the both of us, he held nothing back and I ate every single motherfucking moan he feed me. 

The sounds he made were so good and made get, SO CLOSE, that I almost got my pants covered in slurry, like a loser. Thank gog I didn’t, or that would’ve ruined the best part. 

As the writhing went on, he wrapped his legs around my waist, instructing me to move back and forward in a penetrative motion rather than just let my bulge do the job. I didn’t contest, enjoying the action myself and getting relived at the guidance that was being provided. As the need for release increased, so did the amount of pressure points. I took both my hands and held him by the waist, helping him move his hips in the same tempo as mine. 

He wouldn’t stop moaning for a single second inside my mouth. No words were said or heard. But even that was doing it for me. His desire, his need, his pleasure, his eagerness, the motions, the conditions, everything was doing it for me too. And I couldn't. We shouldn’t. The fact that we were doing this, like this, was twisted. And that was doing it for me too. I was getting closer, and that got me moaning. He heard it and did it a pitch higher. when I realized, we were engulfed in a moaning feedback loop, escalating our own pleasure out of each other's increasing closeness to orgasmic ecstasy. 

Everything was getting wetter and wetter, stained with my blood color, his moaning getting sparse but hitched, like he was getting much much closer. The problem is that, that was making me get close as well, and we had no buckets for me. I couldn’t release or every single fucker around the world with a washing machine wouldn’t be able to help Egderp ever finish doing his laundry. When his breathing got to a turning point, I pulled back and contracted, trying to hold everything inside me. He was holding me in place with his legs, making as much strength as he could to not let me get away. 

KK – Dave, let me go. 

DV – No.no. Karkat. I’m so close. Please. Please. I need more. I need you. Please. 

He was desperate. Begging. I wanted to go back to it, so fucking badly. But I wanted to hear him say something again first. 

KK – Sorry, I didn’t get that last part. 

I know. I know. I’m a praise bitch. Shut up. Or rather. Don’t. 

DV – I need you. I need you, Karkat. Please. I’m so fucking close, man. 

That gets sparkles from all over to make a “B” line to my crotch. Fuck, I’m too close. If I get back to grinding, Dave will end up covered in slurry, along with everything underneath him. Okay, that doesn’t sound even half bad but, I don’t know if he would be ok with it. But I am just, so, motherfucking close. If anything touches me right now, I pail. 

Looking down I see the contour of his dick in his drenched underwear. I pass my claws underneath the elastic of the fabric and he understands. Untangling his legs from my back, he lifts his hips so a can take them off. I do, and when I do, a stiff, blunt figure reaches my sight. His shaft was down, and I could see all of the pinkish red head. Damn, Strider, you really need to improve your drawing skills. This looks nothing like the shit you doodle. 

It looks way better.  

When I look at his face, he’s looking away from me. Could that be... embarrassment? Dave mothefucking Strider, lord of all the doodle dicks in paradox space was embarrassed of showing me his own? Even I have to admit that that’s ironic. 

I put my hand in his shaft and he just moans, not giving half a fuck at this point. So I rub it in his face. 

KK – You know, if you don’t keep your voice down, they are going to either think we are watching some really amazing pornography or that you’re a porn star yourself. 

I hated having to say that, partially because it was true, partially because I wanted so much more. I looked down, seeing his quivering contractions and drenched, thick, upstanding member. I started going down, fully intending on putting every single milimiter of it in my mouth, but he stopped me with a hand in my shoulder. 

He shook his head side to side. 

I made an inquiring face. 

He made a chewing motions showing his blunt teeth, twice. 

I stood still for a moment. I had never considered my fangs could be a problem. But I wasn’t going to discuss. So, instead of giving up, I gave him a closed smile and an understanding head motion. 

He didn’t know what to expect when I kept going down, kneeling in front of the machine. He upheld himself in his elbows to be able to see what I was going to do.  

Then, I licked his whole length, from base to tip. 

He threw his head back and exhaled raggadly, making his torso rise and fall rapidly. Whole body shaking. 

Mothe – fucking – perfect. 

I repeated the motions a couple times, complementing with a twirl around the head. The clogged sound in his breathtube and ragged breath making me certain he was really liking it.  

From the repetition a discovery: he had a lot more trouble to hold it in when my tongue brushed in a particular area of the back of the head, located closer to the end of it and beginning of the shaft, where a little line of skin tied both of them together. 

I gave it a round lick. At first, it was just as the rest, but the more lubrified the area, the harder a time he had holding them, until he actually moaned. From then on, he couldn’t hold them at all, so he sat and clasped both hands in his mouth and just kept on moaning. 

I kept the motion going, making sure to not slow down or stop, just listen to him getting louder and louder, until he got his back against the machine again. Then, he took both of them out. 

DV – Karkat, please don’t stop. 

My bulge wiggled so tight I thought for a second it had knotted. I swallowed dry and kept going. The pitch and sparsity of him moaning increasing as the movement kept going. He really was getting close.  

DV – Karkat, leave, I can’t hold anymore. 

When he said that, my bulge told me to go fuck myself and I basically obeyed. The slithering and writhing went inside and I gasped out of surprise. A relief I knew I wanted, but couldn’t give myself the opportunity to get. 

It only got worse as I saw him touch himself into orgasmic relief and release his own white load on top of himself. And as I know all my own good spots, the bulge pressed the inside of the nook exactly there. 

When he relaxed, riding his own post orgasmic high, I looked at his face and saw exactly what I wanted to see. 

Unrestrained, unbridled bliss. 

I left the clothing ablution block heading to the kitchen, got a deep pan, filled it with water, went out of the house passing by a blissed-out Strider – I'm very proud of that – and in order to deal with the biggest blue shameglobes in the history of paradox space – the proud work of stupid past me – threw the freezing water in my pants. If any nosy mothefucker asked, I had to go in the lake to grab something that fell from my flimsy hands. 

And now, I had the perfect excuse to ask Kanaya to give me some new pants. 

* * *

** POV SWITCH: **

 

Ha! I was right! He did have a tentacle! And wow. That was amazing. I hear something slide from under the door, and even in my blissed state I lazily turn myself to look at it. 

A letter? 

I don’t think Karkat would send me a letter after what just happened, so I get out of the washing machine, clean myself with my cape and kneel to open the letter. Who could it be? And how did they know there was someone- actually, forget that thought, I was trying but, now, I'm excruciatingly aware that I failed miserably at being silent. I just hope Rose won’t give me any weird looks. Or John. Oh, fuck, Jade has dog ears! She probably heard everything! Poor Jade... 

But when I open the letter, the ink in it is pink.  

_Nicely done,_ _son_  

_:)_  

Aaaaaaaand now I’m painfully aware that Roxy knows I had sex. Greeeeeeeat. But even so, I can’t help but smile and think about the conversation we had under the window. She did help in the end. 

 

Thanks, Mom. 


End file.
